Jazz Man and Electro Boy crime fighters!
by ButtonsMagoo
Summary: When Vinces wish come true, Howard and Himself become superheroes, how will they use these powers to help the crimes that plauge london? What will go wrong? what will go right? Tune in next next time! KAPOW!
1. wishes

Jazz man – Wears spandex outfit covered with trumpets, he has a keyboard belt buckle and sandals covered in musical notes

**Hey! **

**I'd like to say thanks to cookiemunster who wrote; why Vince hates jazz and gave me the idea for this fic :) **

**I know I should finish off my other fics but this idea was too precious.**

**I don't own the boosh, the jesting Julian and the naughty Noel do! (: **

The weather in Dalston was rain, gloomy rain poring down from the skies and beating on roofs and surrounding grounds, no surprises for England there and Vince and Howard where cooped up inside their flat, again. Howard was reading a new magazine that had launched that week, a biopsy off a different instruments, you got a magazine listing all the key parts and functions, how to keep it clean and how to look after your Bassoon; Howard's favourite, next weeks issue being the slap bass guitar.

"Hey, did you know that, the bassoon is a concert pitch instrument along with the oboe, flute, and many other instruments." Howard said reading an extract from his magazine, Vince just looked at him blankly.

"That's' genius!"

"It is, isn't it-"Howard began astonished at Vince's 'interest' to the Bassoon, his astonishment soon faded though.

" spider man had a deformed left toe, this comic is genius, and I love super heroes!" Vince said, not acknowledging the fact that Howard had actually spoke to him he gave Vince a deadly look and slammed down his magazine, mumbling.

"What's the matter with you?" Vince asked, peering over the top of 'batman vs. Spiderman, the apprentice final.' At his jazz friend.

"It's just whenever I speak, it never goes into that empty head of yours! I bet this isn't even registering now is it?" Howard moaned, Vince closed his magazine and rolled it up into a tight tube and clasped it in his hands, a wicked look on his face, Howard couldn't believe it.

"Oh I heard you! But I chose to ignore what you where saying, hey Howard, who do you think would win in a fight? Batman or Spiderman." He asked, straying from Howard's subject again. He held the tube airborne in a position ready to force downwards onto a innocent man, that man being Howard, he hesitated before answering.

"Batman?" Howard answered; Vince laughed and brought the tube down gently and playfully hitting Howard over the head.

"Wrong!" He shouted giggles erupting from his mouth as Howard feebly attempted to stop him from his attack.

"Spiderman would obviously win!" Vince concluded, stopping his attack and freeing him, Howard stood up his trilby hat displaced and lay concussed on the floor, his hair was sticking up at different angles and his breathing had become more heavy and frequent.

"You bitch! What was that all about!?" Howard shouted playfully diving towards Vince and aiming his fingers towards his hair.

"It was – wait no! Don't you dare touch my hair!" Vince screeched putting his arms up in defence, Howard abandoned his aim for his hair and went for his now unguarded waist which he tickled reducing Vince to a pile on the floor wriggling about and giggling hysterically. After about and hour or so after ferocious tickling sessions and magazine attacks the duo had settled back down on the sofas and got back to their reading, shooting smiles across to each other occasionally.

"You see the thing about Spiderman is that he can make webs come out of his arms, and he has all the properties of a spider but in superhuman form! Isn't that cool!?" Vince asked causing Howard to sigh again.

--

"I'm sorry Naboo but we regret to inform you but, you have Geniecitus, a rare condition, like the human common cold, that sends your wishing powers into a spassum, you wont be able to control your wish glands, being a shaman you don't tend to have genie powers but with your mum being a close relative to that guy off Aladdin you've developed some of their properties, watch how you go and you should soon be as right as rain." Said Tony Harrison, shuffling about on the table the board of Shaman seated behind.

"Oh Harrison you ball bag! Is there nothing that can be done?" Shouted a rather pale Naboo.

"I'm sorry Naboo but on this occasion there is nothing, I suggest you go home seat yourself in front of the television, with a resolve and a Chinese takeaway," Said Dennis.

"Thanks head shaman, c'mon Bollo lets get back to the flat."

--

"Wouldn't it be cool If you could be a super hero?" Vince asked, fiddling with the edges of the comics pages giving him a paper cut in the process, he winced and sucked the blood up like an vampire Hoover, kind of like Henry but darker.

"Not really, it'll be silly I mean all that Lycra and spandex! It's ridiculous!" Howard replied shuddering at the image of him in muffin spandex.

"I think it would be genius, I wish we where superheroes!" Vince shouted, jumping up from his seat and raising his arms in the air, that was when Naboo and Bollo chose to walk in the door and Vince was struck on the spot by a large bolt of lightening and loud bebop screamed through Howard's ears.

"I got a bad feeling about this." Bollo said, watching as the lightening continued to strike Vince, sending his hair upright and Howard writhing about on the floor clasping his ears, something was happening to the pair, Naboo had granted Vince's wish and Howard and Vince became; Jazz man and Electro boy; crime fighting duo of Dalston.

**What did you think? Should I continue? **

**xxxx**


	2. I am Electro Boy

Naboo just stared at his unconscious flat mates lying on the floor, Vince was smouldering, and his hair was shooting off at all different angles Howard on the other hand was lying in the foetal position; scrunched up in a ball the only difference between

**Chapter two!**

**Thanks to all you lovelies who reviewed here's your next slice of boosh action**

**If you want to see a picture of Vince as Electro Boy gimmie a bell and I'll send you the link to my masterpiece!:)**

**Thanks RadarRox for BETAing**

**Disclaimers – I don't own the boosh, the sexy men that are Noel and Julian do!**

Naboo just stared at his unconscious flat mates lying on the floor. Vince was smouldering; his hair was shooting off at all different angles while Howard on the other hand was lying in the foetal position, only with his hands tightly clasped around his ears.

Naboo studied them further and as the cloud of smoke around Vince began to disperse he noticed a change in his outfit; instead of the skinny/blazer combo he was wearing a tight black jumpsuit with two neon green lightening bolts coming down from his left shoulder and stopping at his belly button, white boots and gloves also sported the lightning motif, and a lightening pendant hung from a chain around his neck and full stop, capital a green headband pulled his hair from his face, and of course a plain white cape billowed down his back.

Naboo's gaze moved to Howard, where the green corduroys, and Hawaiian shirt had been replaced with tight fitting brown spandex, a piano belt, fingerless gloves and open toed sandals. The muffin-coloured trilby he'd previously been sporting was now decorated with musical notes, as were the underpants that now fitted snugly over the lower part of the outfit.

Naboo looked down at his hands and sighed.

"What have I done? Bollo don't put the carpet away, we better get back to Xooberon." He turned and looked at Bollo who was puffing on his inhaler, he grunted to signal 'yes' and they both set back out the door, leaving Vince and Howard asleep and awaiting the shock of a lifetime when they woke up.

Bollo and Naboo soared across the skies of London, soon leaving the city landscape and venturing higher up into the sky, where the ride began to get bumpier and bumpier, not to mention slower.

"What's going on?" Naboo asked his familiar, Bollo looked at the fuel gauge poking out of one corner of the magic carpet and sighed.

"Bollo no clue, Bollo ask Naboo." He grunted.

"You didn't re-fuel! C'mon lets go to this travel lodge and wait for help, I'm sure Vince and Howard will be okay for a couple of days. Besides, Vince did wish he was a superhero, it'd be unfair to take that away so soon!" Naboo said steering the carpet into a large building floating on a cloud in space.

--

Vince was the first to wake up. He was shaking (although one could mistake it for a twitch), felt really energetic, and stood up and walked into the kitchen, not noticing Howard on the floor or even his new superhero get up. He reached for the kettle and dropped it, shocked by his own reflection.

He darted into the bathroom and studied himself in the full length mirror, fascinated. Running his hands down his slim figure, he bent down and looked at the boots, turned the necklace over and looked at the mark on the back and then his gaze rested on his hair. He usually hated it when his hair went all static and began doing its own little Mexican wave, but this was different - the static worked as some form of root boost, his hair was bigger than it had ever been.

"To hell with you!" he said, grabbing a shockwaves bottle of the bathroom shelf and throwing it into the bin. He bounded into the living room, looked down at Howard and smiled - even he looked good, spandex clad or not.

"I wonder what my powers are." He pondered to himself, raising his hands and looking at them. His fingertips were sparking purple, red and green and he deflated slightly, if all he could do was make poxy firework erupt form his fingertips, what use would he be when an old lady was being mugged?

"Well that's useless, what am I? Useless firework boy!" Vince exclaimed to no one in particular but got a voice calling to him in reply.

"Read the instructions… Electro Boy." Vince looked around the room and saw a manual placed on the coffee table. He lifted it and began to flick through the pages.

"Electro Boy…" He said quietly to himself whilst looking at the 'getting started with your new powers page'.

"..Yeah, I like that."

**You enjoy that? Reviews would be most indeed welcome!:D**


	3. Sidekicks

Disclaimers : I don't own the Boosh, Ju and Noel do

**Disclaimers : I don't own the Boosh, Ju and Noel do.**

I heard It was Julian's birthday today, Happy Birthday! xD

Vince sat cross legged on the rug. He'd pushed the coffee table aside and had began work on learning what his new powers were and how to control them; having already mastered the art of creating bolts of lightening from his fingers, (blowing up Howard's Jazz records in the process) he'd learnt that he could control anything electrical apart from toasters with his mind and that as long as his hands where sheathed with the gloves he woke up with he could handle any live electrical wire. He was now studying how to control his energy, which was prepared to burst from him at any moment meaning he'd run the flat down at light speed, he couldn't fly but that was compensated by running.

He jerked his head towards Howard who began to stir; his gaze was fixed there for about three minutes before he sat upright yawned and clamped his hands around his head.  
"Bloody hell, my head feels like an elephants sat on top of it, oh crap Eleanor isn't back is she!" Howard said quietly, his eyes darting around the flat resting on the smouldering pile in the corner, where his Jazz records normally stood.  
"What happened to my Jazz records?" shrieked Howard running over to the debris scattered all on the floor.

"Uhm... Bollo was angry that there was no muesli left in the cupboards and went all King Kong on us..?" Vince said, hiding the fact it was him by pinning the blame on Bollo, he'd do something about that later.

Howard picked up a satin black shard of a record and held it close to his chest, he dropped it got up and turned towards Vince.

"Will you stand still, you need a piss or something and what on gods Earth are you wearing?" He asked, looking Vince up and down and sighing at his outfit.  
"What I am wearing? You 'wanna look at 'ya self sunshine!" Vince exclaimed pointing towards the full body length mirror. Howard walked over to it and looked at his reflection, his hand shot up to his mouth in horror and he began to sway on the spot before falling backwards. Vince darted across the flat and caught him in his arms before he hit his head on the corner of the coffee table. His eyes flickered open to see his companion staring down at him.

"What the hell? You where over there, I mean there's no way! Howard whispered confused, Vince just hoisted Howard up onto a chair and put his hands on his hips and looked upwards, a hero stance.  
"You're looking at, Electro Boy, super hero."  
"Am... Am I a super hero?" Howard asked stammering and looking at himself up and down.

"Nah, you're my Sidekick, Jazz Man and Electro Boy; Crime fighting Duo." Vince said smiling at Howard.

"Sidekick, I'm Jazz _man_, man Vince, you're boy! That makes you the sidekick."

"I don't think so." Vince said coldly, he didn't like 'sidekick'.  
"I'm a man of action, indeed I didn't want this but I must take up my duties that've been placed upon me, like those duties with Walt Disney."  
"Shit off, we did that together, and besides what are you 'gonna do to ward off a mugger, bore him with creepy Jazz talk?" Vince asked.  
"How dare you sir! What are your powers?" Howard said, he watched closely as Vince demonstrated, lightening shooting from his index finger, his hair staighteners flying across the flat and he jammed his finger in a switched on plug socket and didn't get shocked, he also ran across to the door to gather up the post that was conveniently pushed through the door at that time, Howard was shocked.  
"How did you learn how to do that?"

"This book, here it says; Jazz man, Hypnotizes people with music." Vince read out.  
"Is that it, no shooting musical notes from my arse?"  
That's disgusting… Oh wait it says here that you are able of jumping from building to building." Vince said, reading a paragraph he'd missed out accidentally.

"Oh great, what use is that?" Howard asked disappointed.  
"see I told you, you where my side kick, hey at least we got one thing out of this."  
"What?" Howard asked dully.  
"You look good in spandex."

**That was a crap chapter, I'm sorry.**

Reviews are most welcome though! :D 

**Buttons**

**xx**


	4. Superheroes need masks

**Hello! This has been a while since I've talked to you all on this story! Yes I've finally updated although it may disappoint many as it's not at all good – I've got a block.**

**Now I really need all your help! I need ideas for scenarios the duo can get into! And I'm thinking the best two ideas (maybe three depending) will be used and you'll have full dedication and everything! Cause as the writer you'd think I'm full of ideas wouldn't you? Well you're wrong as I've got nothing XD soo Heeeeeeeeeeelp!**

**Uh… deducted to all readers because I LOVE you all :D**

**yep, this is The Mighty Boosh, therefore not mine. Disclaimer over.**

**--**

"A hotline!" Vince shouted, sitting up from the sofa and bouncing on the balls of his feet; he hadn't been able to stand still since he'd gained his powers and a remarkable amount of electric energy.  
"Excuse me?" Howard asked looking repulsed at his friend, Vince looked at Howard and sighed.  
"Not that kind of hotline fool, I meant like a hotline where like the mayor can ring us when he needs us and stuff!"  
"you watch too many cartoons, How are we gonna go to the mayor and say 'look we're superheroes and we'll catch that man who stole your mums purse don't you worry!'?" Howard asked, Vince's face dropped but relit y'know like those annoying birthday candles that relight after you blow them out dripping wax all over your nice double chocolate cake?  
"Masks."  
"Masks?" Howard asked; confused.  
"Yeah it'll be genius we didn't come with masks, we should make some and _then_ go to the mayor he wont have a clue who we are." Vince shouted jumping around making Howard dizzy.  
"But…" He began, put off by Vince's pleading puppy dog eyes.  
"Please Howie!" Vince pleaded, dropping to his knees and begging.  
"Well…"  
"Ah c'mon it's not everyday we get superpowers!" Vince protested.  
"But…"  
"The Moon talks, this is no weirder."  
"I guess not." Howard agreed giving in, Vince jumped up in glee grabbed his sowing kit and ran off into his room; Howard just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Naboo? Bollo broke kettle." Bollo said walking into the bedroom of the travel lodge room, Naboo just sighed.  
"How did you do that?" He asked.  
"Bollo making Naboo cup of tea when Bollo's big hand broke kettle." Bollo said holding up the kettle sadly, Naboo just smiled.  
"No worries, Kalamlooho!" He chanted, and the pair watched as the kettle mended itself and began to boil in Bollo's hands (how I don't know)  
"thanks Naboo, maybe Bollo and Naboo should see council instead of loafing in cheap hotel?"  
"Nah, I could do with a holiday and besides the head shaman did tell me to rest" Naboo smiled, laying back on the bed and flicking through the channels, stopping on a cooking channel.  
"Hey Bollo, maybe we can get some more ideas for hash-cake based meals on here!"

--

"No Vince." Howard said sternly staring at the masks Vince had made. Howards was styled from a hessian sack which housed potatoes (maybe they go to a posh farm shop for their veg?) and was crudely assembled with some sown on elastic; clearly only wasting 10 minutes of Vince's precious time whereas he'd spent almost an hour crafting a neon green mask shaped like a lightening bolt with sunglass lenses sown into the mask itself.  
"why what's wrong?" Vince asked slightly down heartened to Howard's lack of appreciation.  
"You've made it from a potato sack."  
"Yours maybe, but not mine!" Vince smiled.  
"a potato sack." Howard repeated.  
"Yeah, I thought it would look good with your outfit, it matches." Vince said throwing the mask across to Howard who took it and threw it straight in the bin.  
"I'd rather wear a paper bag over my head."  
"Well suit yourself then, y'know I think there's one in my craft box." Vince smiled running off into his room leaving Howard on the sofa.  
"I was being sarcastic." He mumbled to himself.

**Again, any scenario ideas would be brilliant! And very much appreciated – I guess it's turning into one of those fics where you the reader decide what happens next! **

**Reviews?**


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